SEVEN CONTEMPLATIONS

A Personal Bibliography for Healing and Mindfulness

Seven Contemplations at the Albright Knox Northland is an exhibition that was created over the course of a decade. During that decade I went through an intense personal journey, grieving the loss of my parents, while healing from a difficult childhood. Heroin addiction, alcoholism and mental instability plagued my early life and I grew up with no understanding of the root causes of the suffering around me, nor that there was a way to confront such suffering and heal from it. 

The works in this exhibition touch on many themes including a grieving loss, healing from the psychological dissociation caused by trauma, nurturing, transformation, and forgiveness. 

As I lived through the process of exploring trauma, healing old wounds, and finding forgiveness, I created the works you see in the exhibition. 

As we assembled the supporting materials for Seven Contemplations, I realized that I wanted to include a resource list of some of the books that accompanied my process. Below is a reading list that, alongside therapy and meditation, helped me immensely. 

First, “In the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts” by Gabor Mate. This book radically and compassionately shifted my understanding of addiction, pointing me toward the unhealed trauma at the root of most debilitating addictions.

Next “Trauma and Recovery” by Judith Herman helped me to see the precise nature of the way traumatic events affect the human psyche, as well as to put the study and understanding of trauma into a sociopolitical context. 

“The Places That Scare You”  by Pema Chodron, as well as many many of her other lectures and writings. She is the first person to translate Buddhism into a language I could grasp. Her teachings on Tonglen meditation got me started with a daily meditation practice at a time when I was struggling with destructive bouts of anger and  needed a practice that dealt directly with difficult emotions. 

Very important was “Forgiveness is a Choice” by Robert Enright. This walked me through a process I had no other road map for. When we're from dysfunctional families and cultures, no one has given us any kind of map to something as essential but complex as forgiveness. This was that map for me.

“The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel Van der Kolk got me understanding how trauma rewires the nervous system, and how therapies like EMDR and Somatics can help.

“Healing Developmental Trauma” by Lawrence Heller & Aline Lapierre deepened my understanding of the way early life trauma impacts us long into adulthood. 

“Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsay Gibson had a refreshingly simple way of translating complex ideas. 

“The ACOA Trauma Syndrome” by Tian Dayton offered empowering perspectives on being an adult child from an addicted family. 

“The Emotionally Abusive Relationship” by Beverly Engel was incredibly important for me because it provided hard to find resources for when you yourself are being aggressive or emotionally abusive which is a common survival response for people who've grown up in abusive dynamics.

“The Mind Body Prescription” by John Sarno and the “Mind Body Workbook” by David Schecter helped me work through some of the emotional distress which was manifesting physically as pain and illness. 

“Speaking Peace” and “This is Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg helped me gain a more compassionate framework for relating to others. 

As well as the work of Peter Levine in the field of Somatics, Jack Kornfield and other meditation teachers, and most recently the wisdom of Polyvagal Theory.

These are just a few of the resources that I have found useful. These books lead me toward a more compassionate understanding of myself and my family, and illuminated a path of healing that doesn’t involve punishment or bitterness. Instead this path asks us to make contact with our wounds, to be present with our emotions and our physical reactions as we experience suffering, and to imagine the difficulty experienced by those who have caused us harm. To feel and to accept the vulnerability of feeling. To understand and allow that understanding to expand our heart’s capacity to forgive. 

Thank you for experiencing Seven Contemplations, and I hope that these or other resources help guide you on your own path toward wholeness. 

- Caledonia Curry, September 25th, 2020